22--MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

"And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought [them] unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that [was] the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." – Genesis 2:18-25

Note: Marriage was one of the two institutions taken out of the garden of Eden. The other was the Sabbath. When a man and his wife are made one flesh, this includes a lot more than a sexual relationship. It includes a special friendship that only a wife and husband can share.


"The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." – Matthew 19:3-9

Note: Sometimes, in the past, God winked at sin because of man’s lack of understanding. But when Jesus came He made many matters much clearer. One of these matters concerned marriage and divorce. Humans were not to lust after others. They were to make an effort to love their spouses and were not free to leave them except for adultery. It is selfishness in the heart of people that causes them to do some of these things.

"And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do [it]. And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece. Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim. And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare [it]. When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom, And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: [but] thou hast kept the good wine until now. This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him." – John 2:1-11

Note: Our Saviour honored the rite of marriage by attending a ceremony early in His ministry and even performing a miracle there. He loves people and He wants them to be happy.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" – 2 Corinthians 6:14


Note: Here again we see it is important not to be in close association with an unbeliever. We are making a grave mistake if we marry someone and hope to convert them to Christ. We need to be sure an individual is truly a born again Christian before we even think of marrying them. Those who have made this mistake often have a hard life, or they leave Christ and follow the world with their spouse. If you have such a spouse already never cease to pray for them and live a good example for them.

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband." – Ephesians 5:21-33

Note: When a Christian wife submits herself to a Christian husband, she has nothing to fear. If he realizes he is to love her as himself and also as Christ loves the church, he will do anything he can to make her happy. She too will have a love that will cause her to want him to be happy. An unselfish Christian couple can have a good life together.

"It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." --Matthew 5:31,32


Note: Again, we see God is specific about divorce. If humans today would follow the Bible we would not see so many couples getting divorce. When we are living for the Lord we will often find other solutions to the problems within marriage. Even, though our spouse may be an unbeliever, God tell us to stay with them, unless they want to leave us. In that case we are “not bound” the Bible says. As with other areas in our life, this subject too should be studied carefully.>/p>

"And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." – Mark 10:11, 12


Note: In this text we notice the author speaks of either husband or wife. God wants both men and women to heed this command.

"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from [her] husband committeth adultery." – Luke 16-18


Note: The different gospel writers say it a little differently, yet the message is clear. God does not like divorce. Marriage was instituted in the garden of Eden. A good marriage has truth about God in it. The oneness of husband and wife, physically, mentally, and spiritually, is like the oneness of the Godhead and the oneness that should exist between God and individuals. An unselfish relationship in a marriage will make a happy marriage and a happy family.

"And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace." -- 1 Corinthians 7:10-15

Note: Paul gives the same emphasis as the other writers, using a little different words. You will notice he does mention if the unbeliever leaves his or her spouse is not bound. We must remember, though, if the unbeliever wants us to stay we really should, because there is always the possibility our Christian example will finally win him or her to the Lord.

"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." – Exodus 20:12


Note: The family may consist of children, grandparents, etc. Here we see the importance of honoring our parents. Now, if our parents were to tell us to do something against what the Bible teaches, we could not obey them in that particular instance. Yet, we should show honor and respect toward even unbelieving parents. God loves them and we may even be able to win them to the Lord, if we guard our words and actions around them. Again, it is selfishness and pride that makes us rebellious, so we do need God’s strength in overcoming the temptations that are with us day by day.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture anonition of the Lord." – Ephesians 6:1-4


Note: Here we see the call to the obedience of children, but we also see the necessity of parents being careful how they deal with their children. Making them angry and upset because of our faulty ways will not help our children grow up to be Christians. They may even obey us out of fear, but hold resentment inside, to show up when they are older. Agape love (unselfish love) needs to be practiced in the home, and it will be if we rely on our Saviour for strength and power to be overcomers. We may have to struggle awhile, but if we persevere in prayer the victory will be ours. We need to have daily devotions with our children, as well as encourage them to have private devotions with the Lord. Plus, we need to spend a lot of time on our knees in our own closet.

"And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates." – Deuteronomy 6:5-9


Note: The word of the Lord can indeed be written in our own hearts and the hearts of our children, if we learn from His word and teach our children what we learn. Jesus used stories in nature and everyday life to teach people. We can do the same for our children. If we remember to treat them with a lot of love and kindness, if we set a good example of Christlike virtues, our children will be drawn to the Saviour.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." – Proverbs 22:6


Note: We all are capable of making mistakes with our children, yet the future is still ahead. Let us redeem the time, and determine to serve the Lord and let Him show us how to live the life of a godly parent. And, if our children are grown, let us continue to pray for them. Also, if we have opportunities to influence other children, let us do so. Who knows how we can help some little children (or big child) to find the kingdom God?

"Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." – Malachi 4:5,6


Note: This promise has given hope to many a parent whose children have gone astray. They will have to make their own choices in the end, yet intercessory prayer has been know to change the hearts of many. In some cases, converted children may need to pray for their parents. Never give up, as long as life is there.

CONCLUSION:


God makes us responsible for our families to a great degree. As Christians, our example may be vital to the salvation of those close to us. When we make mistakes we need to confess to God, and sometimes to our spouse, parents, or children. We want the oneness God promises to all who serve Him. Our family life can be a little heaven on earth, if we let the fruit of the Spirit control us.